If you're feeling a bit depressed it might be evolution giving you a sign

An recent article in the Los Angeles Times
http://www.latimes.com/features/health
/la-he-evpsych12feb12,0,1620329,full.story?coll=la-home-health
describes how depressions of all kinds are getting looked at from an evolutionary perspective.

One of the ideas is that when we start to feel depressed it is the social aspect of our evolution calling out for attention. It seems that we may actually be trying to get more attention from those who we want to care about us.

So the next time, mom, mum, mother and general good woman, that you feel down, think about why you are feeling that way. Maybe evolution is giving you a big red flag to wave and it's your duty to wave it. then I guess you couldd think about why you're waving it! Can you identify what's going on to make you feel down? Can you find the words to describe it to a loved one? Do you need a loved one to hear you? It's got to be worth a try next time it all seems too much.

Read more about moms being mums and mothers at independent thought

it's ok to get it wrong some of the time

so there I am, satisfied that I have coached a dear friend well. We talked about the need for assertive calm communication with our partners and our ability to put oneself in another's shoes to make communication more successful...

...and then the very next day...

I find myself yelling with maximum irritation "what are you doing" when my nearest and dearest is putting on a load of laundry. I swear he flinched - not the clear calm communication I had in mind!

Looking at it from his viewpoint he was of course being responsible, responding to a need to have something washed without asking me to do it. He was doing it immediately because he know he'd forget if he didn't. Perfectly reasonable...I could have been pleased at this proactive thought but no!

Why did I rile me so? Well, it's my job and he broke my system for doing the laundry. That coupled with an insuffcient sorting (some lights getting in with the dark colours; and some items not getting in the wash at all) and oh yes the washer stealing the water from the shower I was about the step into!

But as my freshly coached friend pointed out it's ok to get it wrong some of the time...hmmm him or me!

read more about our super mom tendencies and communicating with our loved ones at www.independent-thought.com/resources